5 posts tagged “program”
Ah, the saga continues. You thought that because I quit my program, the drama would end, right? If only. I got a call earlier in the week that I needed to go to the visa and passport office. Turns out, they tell us, that my (former) director had called them, saying I had been a problem student and so she had expelled me from the program, and so they wanted to kick me out of the country, effective yesterday. (I swear I don't make this stuff up, I was standing right there when the guy said she'd told them this) We explained to them that, in actual fact, I had quit the program because of her lies and mismanagement, so they said I can stay and by tomorrow everything will be cleared up and taken care of, inshallah. Revenge, that universal trait... I must say, though, her vindictiveness continues to surprise me (only slightly at this point), seeing as so far not one of her attempts to get rid of me have yet worked. I'm told everything in this part of the world gets done based on who you know, and she consistently seems to underestimate my friends. I'm out of her hair since I quit, you'd think she'd be done, but I guess this is becoming a matter of personal pride. I do find it disappointing, though, that I had signed up for what appeared on paper to be such a promising program, and I got all of this mess instead. On the bright side, my classmates tell me I haven't missed much and I was lucky to get out when I did. Many of them have said they are jealous of my fall-back options and wish they could quit too.
Meanwhile, I'm managing to restore some balance to my life. I now have the time and energy to go to the gym regularly, and would probably go every day if I could walk from my house. I've figured out how to get just about everywhere in the city via public bus and walking, except the gym, so it is my one regular taxi ride. About 2 out of 3 taxi rides go just fine, and that's increasing as I get more and more used to dealing with the drivers and my Arabic gets better. It's those remaining rides that continuously amaze and frustrate me, though. Many of the drivers do not know where the gym is, so I have gotten very good at giving directions, and if the guy follows them I can get there in about 3 minutes, for less than a dollar. But a foreigner who knows where she is going and can explain it to them is a concept that simply does not compute. I even checked with Syrian friends to see if it's my own pronunciation problem, and was told I am saying things correctly. My last two rides have consisted of me spending the first half of the ride trying to explain to the driver which way to go, while he takes strange turns, insists that is not the most efficient way to go, and asks random people on the street how to get to the gym who have no idea either. Meanwhile, I'm in the backseat trying to tell him where it is, while he tells me to hang on a minute so he can ask the unknowing stranger. Eventually, after a very exasperated, "But I know where it is! It's straight this way!" the guy will look at me, very surprised, and exclaim, "Oh! You know way?" Within a couple minutes we are there. I do my best to be patient, I honestly do. I realize this guy probably used to be a university professor and only arrived from Baghdad last week, so it's not his fault he's not used to this or doesn't know where he's going. I (usually) even over-pay him, despite the hassle. It's just that once in a while I would appreciate not being treated as if I'm stupid and haven't a clue just because I'm a blond-haired female (p.s. that goes for in the US, too). At least this is usually when I'm on the way to the gym, so once I get there I can turn the resistance up high, plug in my iPod, and enjoy a nice hot shower and fresh fruit juice when I'm done. Syria, always keeping you on your toes.
I finally did it. I quit my program.
It had all sounded great, in theory, and Syria has definitely turned out to be a fascinating and educational place. But few of us now feel we are truly benefiting from the program side of being here. My entire eight months of the program consisted of seemingly never-ending debates with the professors about class materials and workload. We were supposed to gain a professional experience by working at internships twice a week, but so far most of the students do not like their placement, do not feel it is a beneficial experience, or don't even have one yet. And finally, we were supposed to enroll in regular university courses so that we could interact with Syrian students and deal with university-level material in Arabic. After about five months of postponing the start of those classes, we have now been told they will not be happening at all. The administrators here have called the students liars and trouble-makers when they tried to raise objections to the way things are going, and the administrators in the US told us to suck it up and get over it. It has become almost impossible to put more than one or two of my classmates together without them starting to complain, and I feel little but negative energy around them, especially when at school or trying to work on homework. I had come here to improve my Arabic, and it simply no longer seems that this program is the best way to do it. When I told the administrators in the US about the problems we have been facing, they told me to move forward and make the best of it. I decided to do just that, and so I quit.
Of course, I still strongly support Syria as a place to improve one's Arabic, and I have long been quite jealous of my friends who are here on other programs - or on no program. There is no shortage of tutors, volunteer positions, and possible work for me to continue working in my Arabic for quite some time. I've already talked to someone about my visa if I'm not a part of the program, and was told I should have little trouble. I will have to stick to a slightly tighter budget, but I can afford to pay my own way for a little while. So, for the moment, I'm still figuring out exactly what comes next. Plus, I'm utterly exhausted. As soon as I announced my decision, I felt like a huge lead weight had been lifted, and my whole body and spirit felt lighter and uplifted. But it also helped me realize how stressed and pressured I have felt, and how much rest I need to get back to myself again. This city feels like it has endless possibilities, and I look forward to no longer having to refuse them in order to get to class.
As for my classmates, many of them have congratulated me, while others (who are getting a master's degree out of this, rather then just their own personal edification like me) say they are jealous that they can't join me. At least one other is taking a "break" for a couple weeks, while another also expressed a possible desire to leave early, and two had already taken an extended Christmas break to get away from it for a while. When I realized that no one seemed to be enjoying it, I decided I don't need this. As one of my classmates said, "Take back your life!"
Istaslaam - Literally, "to seek peace". According to my Hans Wehr (the dictionary that is the Bible to all Arabic-learning English speakers) "to surrender, capitulate; submit, yield, abandon." This has been the word of the week in my program. I'm no longer angry - I'm too tired to be. No one has the energy to debate or discuss anything anymore, it seems. Personally, I feel a deeper exhaustion than I ever remember feeling. There have been some steps that appear to be positive, leaving me more confused and unsure of what to do next than I was when I was upset.
This includes things like a Syrian administer coming to us today, saying he'd heard there are complaints and many people are upset.
"Why didn't you come to me? If there's a problem, I want to hear about it directly."
"But, our director told us not to. She said we weren't allowed."
"That's ridiculous. My door is always open. That's what I'm here for."
But I'm too tired to discuss it. I'm too tired to explain. I'm just...tired.
In the meantime, I finally posted all the photos from my brother's visit over Christmas, and from New Year's in Lebanon. As always, click My Flickr link on the right to see them all.
I just finished the last of my finals - although I have yet to feel any more relaxed. I guess it just takes a little while to unwind. Probably even more so since I'm not very happy about them. I think I did alright, considering, but I am not pleased at showing up for an exam only to discover that what I had been told was the structure of the exam and what was to be expected of me had changed. For example, I was under the impression that the exam I just took today was going to be administered by people outside of the program, that the questions were set by the test-writers in the US, that I would be given choices as to which article to discuss, and that I would be expected to give my answers in English since the purpose of the exam is to test my understanding of the language. This is what it had clearly said on the three-page handout we had been given two weeks ago regarding this exam. However, when I showed up today I was given an exam composed and administered by three of my professors here, I was expected to give immediate answers to the articles they selected, and all answers were in Arabic. How is one expected to properly prepare for an exam when they find out as they walk into the testing room that the exam is different from what they had specifically been told it would be? I was initially somewhat glad to be among the first to finish, but this also means that many of my classmates have up to two days to prepare for these changed expectations. At least I am done now and the purpose of the exams was to see my level not to determine if I am passing/failing or to see if I had retained any particular information I was expected to have learned. In light of that, I do not feel my results necessarily reflect my grasp of the language, but I also feel I did the best I could under the circumstances. Serves me right for trying to prepare.
The important part is that I actually am free until the beginning of January now, and I'm looking forward to the endless possibilities. Sleep and cleaning my apartment will be the first priorities, followed by some time to take in the region. Can't wait. ;-) Oh, and if you have book recommendations, I have a list but I hope to actually have time to read them!!
I made it back from our most recent trip, and am already in the midst of my finals. The trip was good, and I'm glad I decided to go along. As I mentioned before, I had already been to basically every place we were going to be visiting, but it is often fun to return to a place and double-check some of the things one has already seen. The first day we left bright and early from school at 6:30am and headed off to Resafa, where we wandered around in the rain and poked around the city for a while. It was fun to see it in different lighting, as was Qalat al-Jabr, which we headed to next. Because it is now winter, it got dark by about 4:30pm, and so it was already after sunset by the time we arrived in Raqqa, meaning the museum was closed and there as little else to see.
They did, however, take us to a very nice mosque built by the Iranians. Two things amused me about this visit - first, since I was currently wearing my long, black trench coat and a scarf wrapped around my head to protect against the cold and the rain, for the first time (I think ever in my life) I was already properly dressed to enter the mosque. My of my classmates chuckled that I looked "more Syrian" than the actual Syrians with us, and that if I were only to change the color of my headscarf, I would fit right in with one of the more conservative, secretive religious movements in Damascus. But fear not, I'm not converting just yet. ;-) My second amusement, was that the Imam showing us around didn't seem to have be fully informed as to just what we were students of, and so he launched into a speech on the history of Shi'a Islam and the significance of various religious doctrines. As we were all struggling to stay awake, our professor gently informed the man that we had had a long trip from Damascus and we were just hoping to take a look at the mosque.
I will never fully understand Syrian eating schedules. After our little tour of the mosque, they delivered us to the hotel and informed us that we still two hours until dinner. It was 7pm, we had been on the road since 6:30am (earlier since I'd had to leave home before 6 to get to the bus on time), lunch had been cheese croissants and cookies on the bus, and now they weren't going to feed us until 9? What would be so wrong with giving us dinner at 7:30? 8 even?? As it was, the tour guide was somewhat amused that we wanted to eat so *early*. Keep in mind, we had to be ready to go in the morning by 7am, so the average time of finishing our multi-course dinner at 11pm did not leave much time to sleep and recover from the long day. I seriously don't know how they do it. At least the two hours did give us some time to wander around and explore Raqqa - and I discovered that perhaps my driver had been very correct last time when he said there was nothing to see or do there and I was better off staying with his wife and daughters.
The next day we headed off to Halabiya-Zalabiya, which were two fortified towns on either side of the Euphrates, founded by Zenobia to help defend Palmyra and the surrounding area against the Persians during the Roman period. Not a whole lot remains of them now, but they are certainly on an impressive and strategic spot along the river. We were given 15 minutes to explore, which I suppose may be the reason I was the only person who decided to venture all the way to the top (despite Erwin's running start). The view was definitely worth the tired knees and dirt in my shoes. From there we went down to Mari. Again, our time to wander around this ancient city was limited, so I was glad I had had the chance to more fully take it in previously - and with someone who actually knew about it. I'm especially amused that Roman seems to be about the oldest anyone can conceive of, so the thought that any site - such as Mari - is older than Roman simply doesn't seem to compute. After a late lunch of tuna, sardines, martadella (Syrian spam) and lemons (again, what did I say about not comprehending eating habits....our tour guide genuinely looked shocked that we weren't excited) we headed to Dora Europos. There the guide said we would have five minutes to take a look and get some pictures. Being the known trouble-maker that I am, I quietly expressed my surprise to my classmates at the suggestion that this ancient city, which was the last bastion of the Roman empire against the Persians, which hosts the oldest known church in the world and an almost perfectly preserved synagogue from the 3rd century, which was a center of multi-culturalism, and which has some of the greatest views of the Euphrates I have yet seen, was not worth exploring. As a result, my classmates asked the tour guide for a bit more time, and we raced off to the river-bank. I was later told, next time I would be hired as the official tour guide. ;-)
We headed back up to Deir ez-Zor for the evening, and again were given three hours before dinner. Only this time, we were at a "five star" hotel outside of town, and so we had no where to go - plus, it was raining. Ania and I caused a small scene when we tried to venture out for a snack and headache medicine, so we decided it best to try to rest. Needless to say, by the time we did make it to dinner, I was feeling nauseous from the long day and lack of sufficient nourishment, and so after expelling what bit of dinner I tried to eat, curled up in the back of the bus and tried to ward off the winter cold until my classmates were done eating, about two hours later. I slept quite well that night, and thankfully was not woken up by another friend at 3am informing me of the inspiration he had gained from the beer he was enjoying atop a monastery near the Lebanese border, as had happened the previous night.
Our final day, we visited the museum in Deir ez-Zor and then headed back across the desert to the "Western Palace", which the Umayyads had apparently built to escape the criticism they faced in Damascus for their less-than-proper upholding of Islamic custom and law. I had my doubts when the giant tour bus first decided to turn off the paved road, but it was a fun little stop once we did find it. It seemed like about the least sensible spot ever for a palace, but I guess that made it a nice wayside for travelers crossing the desert. We stopped in Palmyra for a late lunch, and made it back to Damascus by about 7pm. Overall, it was a good trip and I am glad I decided to spend the time with my classmates, but it also reminded me of why I prefer to avoid large, organized tours as much as possible. Had I been so inclined, I would not have had to speak a word of Arabic or interact with a single Syrian for the entire three days. How this gave us a anything close to an authentic experience of the country, or really taught us much about the people and the places we are living in the midst of, I will never know. But it is a still of travel I know lots of people enjoy, and which many of my colleagues seemed convinced was the "only way" to see many of these places. It's sad, really, since I had gotten so much more out of my experience when I had gone on my own, and I found it very difficult to express that to my classmates without appearing to criticize the hard work our tour guide was doing to take care of us and make sure we were comfortable on our trip. In any case, it's two different styles, and I think I gained even more by getting the chance to try both.
